Assholes of the Year (2023 Edition)

by jovan1984

The 2023 Assholes of the Year awards will commence.

Here are the 48 biggest douchecanoes of this year.

48. Randy Robertson. The architect of the unconstitutional S. 92 in Georgia, he wants to let conservatives continue to get away with criminal activity, like they have been doing since the beginning of time.

47. Phil Berger. He is destroying North Carolina, running roughshod now that Tricia Cotham is on his side.

46. Bill Goldberg. In a sexist rant against a then-pregnant Rihanna, he went on about crotch-grabbing.

45. NoFap Guru. One of the funniest assholes on this list, he recently made one of the dumbest anti-jack off arguments ever.

44. Amber Heard. This abuser is finally held accountable with the loss of future Aquaman roles beyond the current movie.

43. Jonathan Majors. He was convicted earlier this week for abuse. Marvel rightfully put him out to pasture.

42. Torey Lanez. He was convicted at this time last year for shooting Meg Thee Stallion.

41. Tim Scott. The US Senator from South Carolina consistently rails against his own community.

40. Von Miller. The Buffalo Bills star was recently booked on charges of assaulting his pregnant girlfriend.

39. Robin Vos. The Wisconsin House Speaker made threats to impeach the Wisconsin Supreme Court if they ruled his illegal gerrymander as unconstitutional.

38. Rudy Giuliani. Ten days ago, he was ordered to pay $74,000,000.00 each to Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss for defaming the mother-daughter duo who were merely poll workers in 2020.

37. Xavier Pinckney. He recently pleaded guilty to aiding in the murder of an Allendale transgender woman named Dime Doe.

36. Vladimir Putin. The Russian dictator criminalized LGBTQIA+ people.

35. Viktor Orbán. The Hungarian dictator has ruled with an iron fist, and many American conservatives have hosted him in events in both America and in Budapest.

34. Javier Milei. Recently elected as the leader of Argentina, he has instead started ruling as a dictator not even 14 days into his tenure.

33. Jeff Landry. The incoming Louisiana governor will make an already awful state even worse.

32. Spencer Cox. The Utah governor has openly expressed his disdain for the Constitution. He even signed the first-in-the-nation ban on internet pornography, in clear violation of the First Amendment.

31. ESPN. Despite letting go some of their repugnant “talent” (e.g. Sage Steele), they still managed to keep some. *cough* Stephen A. Smith *cough*, anyone?

30. Raúl Labrador. The Idaho Attorney General has zero interest in protecting Idahoans. Rather, he wants to segregate the state even more.

29. Lara Trump. She is an up-and-coming grifter for the griftiest family that could grift in the world. Oh, and she has no respect for the DMCA law.

28. Ashley Moody. She was the only woman Attorney General to sign a letter pressuring Walgreens to stop the sale of mifepristone and all other contraceptives. As a result of boycotts by progressives and other decent people nationwide, the Walgreens in Williston closed permanently on May 3d.

27. Mark Robinson. The Lieutenant Governor of North Carolina constantly reveals his real agenda for 2025. And newsflash: it is not about serving the people of the Tar Heel State.

26. Mark Gordon. The Wyoming Governor signed the first-in-the-nation law outlawing all contraception.

25. Kristi Noem. The South Dakota Governor is a huge hypocrite. Privacy for me but not for thee. And there is a lot more of her hostility to freedom and liberty as well.

24. Joe Rogan. The king of crackpot podcasting, he continues to peddle lies and conspiracies about a lot of things. How convenient that his conspiracies about COVID was used to mask his outrageous conspiracies about a lot of other things, such as school safety items.

23. The Virginia Republican Party. They slut-shamed a woman Democrat for doing adult sex work and having an OnlyFans account.

22. George Santos. The now ex-Representative was part of a small wave of far-rightists that took over the US House.

21. Jordan Peterson. This “sigma” male continues to be one of the more notorious douchebags around.

20. Cody Ware. This former NASCAR driver assaulted his wife in Statesville.

19. Miles Bridges. The Charlotte Hornet star is a slow learner. His history of domestic abuse was why he wasn’t allowed entry into Windsor, Ontario, Canada as his team was travelling to play Toronto. Bravo, Canada!

18. Nikki Haley. The Bamberg native continues to show the world what the quintessential woman misogynist looks like.

17. Jim Justice. I just don’t understand why this iron-fisted governor continues to be very popular. He has done little to nothing positive for West Virginia.

16. The North Carolina Supreme Court. This court legalized rampant voter suppression and gerrymandering, two things that our federal constitution and laws do not allow.

15. Kris Kobach. This douchebag is back in power in Kansas. You all know the history of this fascist.

14. Daniel Cameron. The soon-to-be ex-Attorney General of Kentucky did enormous damage to the Bluegrass State.

13. The Tennessee State government. The entirety of the state government shows their utter contempt for children. It was plainly obvious after they expelled two Black legislators for having the audacity to care about the most innocent of human beings.

12. Tricia Cotham. This Charlotte-area state legislator showed her true colors. She should be treated by North Carolinians and Americans the same way Alec Trevelyan (006) was treated by MI6 in the movie Goldeneye when he decided to join Janus.

11. Sarah Huckabee Sanders. This nepo baby turned governor shows her contempt for America every single day. It is no different now than it was when she was the nation’s press secretary.

10. Bill Taylor. This Aiken County bigot has a slate of hate bills of his own prefiled for the second half of the legislative session in Columbia come January 8, 2024. Book bans and forced segregation of bathrooms are among the items spotted on the docket that is either sponsored by or co-sponsored by him.

9. Greg Abbott, Dan Patrick and Ken Paxton. The trio of Texas Tyrants continue to make China look good by comparison when the most-populated nation in the world is compared to the Lone Star State.

8. The Oklahoma state government. Oklahoma’s government continues to be hostile to the Constitution and to people in general.

7. Ron DeSantis. This iron-fisted dictator shows no signs of stopping his totalitarian oppression of Floridians and its visitors.

6. Andrew Tate. This “sigma” male is facing sex trafficking, human trafficking and rape charges all over the world. Oh, and he continues to be gross to Greta Thunberg, a woman who has done absolutely nothing wrong to him.

5. The Missouri State government. The Show Me State’s government continues to show the world how much they hate women.

4. Peter Nolan. I thought Earth would have been rid of this guy almost a decade ago. Instead, he shows up on X and continously threatens a woman on that platform who is fighting for true gender equality.

3. The US Supreme Court. Clearly, this activist conservative court does not get it. They legislated from the bench yet again in striking down student loan forgiveness. Impeachments should be started on this court!

2. The South Carolina Supreme Court. The SCSC struck down a 1970 constitutional amendment that guaranteed the right to privacy in its zeal to take away rights from the women of the Palmetto State.

2023 Assholes of the Year: The Texas Supreme Court. This is another radical court that just legislates from the bench. A clear example of that was shown just this month when they sentenced Kate Cox, a law-abiding citizen, to death when they struck down a lower court’s order allowing Mrs. Cox to get a life-saving abortion. For those not in tune, Texas is one of at least 12 states that do not have an exception for the pregnant person’s life in their bans on abortion. Texas has a complete ban, and both doctor and patient will be prosecuted for performing and receiving an abortion at any point, even if it is to save the patient’s life.